A Personal Narrative

A well written narrative is the result of clear thinking that can easily be seen in good paragraphs. Kids need to develop an understanding of how to take their ideas and present them clearly, especially when they are writing about real events. In a creative story paragraphs develop naturally with the plot. But in a personal narrative, it’s harder for kids to hone in on a few important points and expand on each of them. My goal for this week’s writing lesson, then, was to teach kids how to write a personal narrative in which their ideas were organized into traditional paragraphs.

I did this lesson over three days. The first day was the hardest, when I modeled and guided them through planning the narrative. On the second day they wrote out their first draft, again while I modeled. I helped them proofread their first draft, fixed their spelling and sentence structure, and then they wrote out their final drafts.

The topic: My Best Friend

This tied into the Reading unit we just finished which focused on the theme of Friendship.

Day 1 – Planning

To start the lesson I handed each student a planning paper on which were four squares. Three of the squares were for drafting out paragraphs and the fourth was for a concluding sentence or two.  In each square there was a line for the main idea. Below that there were bullets for the details to go with each main idea.

I used my document camera for modeling the lesson. After explaining the writing assignment I asked the class for input.

We are going to write three paragraphs in our narrative. What should our three main ideas be?

The kids responded with the following ideas:

1. How we met
2. A description of the friend
3. Activities we do together

We wrote these main ideas on each top line of our four square planning paper.
Next it was time to think about the topic sentence for the first paragraph. I reminded them that a paragraph had to have a topic sentence followed by details. (A separate lesson on how to write a traditional paragraph should precede this assignment.) I asked for a suggestion. No response.
Not good. So I modeled a sentence on my paper. I met Jessica at my grandma’s house when I was four years old.  
Okay, I’m looking for someone who can come up with a topic sentence that is better than mine.

I could see some serious thinking suddenly going on. In a minute or so hands shot up.

I was two years old when I met John at his house.
Ann and I met on the first day of kindergarten.
It all started like this.
How did my friendship with Sarah start?

I instructed them to write out their topic sentence in the first square. It was time now to think of some details to add to this paragraph.
What details should we write in this paragraph? We don’t need to think of full sentences yet. Just share your ideas.

They had no problem suggesting the following which they jotted down beside each bullet:
1. When we met;
2. Where
3. How did it start.

On to paragraph 2. I reminded them that describing a person is both what they look like and also what they are like, i.e. their qualities.

We need a topic sentence for a paragraph describing your friend. Any suggestions?

Silence. Sure they were thinking, but I could tell that they were struggling. So, on my modeling paper, I wrote:
My best friend, Jessica, is beautiful in every way.

This led to a little more excitement and a few kids raised their hands. Here’s a sample of their responses:
 Ryan is a wonderful friend in every way. Alice is my fantastic, best friend. John is kindhearted every single second. My best friend is wonderful on the inside and the outside. This is what my best friend is like.

After more ideas were shared everyone was able to get their second topic sentence written. When I asked for ideas for details they again found this part easy – height, hair, an attractive quality – and jotted them down beside each bullet in the second square.

The third paragraph was accomplished in pretty much the same fashion. We worked through the paragraphs quite efficiently. I modeled a concluding sentence and then encouraged them to come up with their own to end the narrative.

This is a student sample.

Day 2 – The First Draft

I explained to my students that they would now write a narrative using the ideas in their four square plan. Using the document camera, I placed my plan and writing paper side by side for them to see. As I wrote sentences for each paragraph, I asked them to write out theirs. I encouraged them to try to be different, but I didn’t insist on this.

Often, when a teacher models to the extent that I did on this assignment, it is tempting for kids to just copy what they see. In this particular case I found that some kids did indeed write most of what I had written, but made sufficient changes to make it appropriate for them. I think a topic like this, though not wildly exciting like writing a Greek myth, is an excellent way to get kids comfortable with some essential writing skills. Since they were writing about something that they could easily relate to, it was easy for them to take a model and work with it to apply to themselves.

I think it’s fine for developing writers to copy good writing. It lowers their anxiety, but trains their brain to think like a writer.

Day 3 – Editing/Revising/Final Draft

Each student brought their first draft to me and I helped them fix their spelling mistakes. I limited the revising to altering clunky sentences to clear, snappy ones. This phase had to go fast, and it did. With all that guidance most of the kids made very few mistakes. To end this entry, here is the final draft produced by one of my students.

Writing a Greek Myth - Part 2

What do you do when you have a handful of students that are unable to perform the task you have assigned? Last week, while my class of third graders wrote out their final drafts of their Greek Myths, I worked with each of my four struggling writers individually. These four students had written first drafts that were pretty incomprehensible. A couple of these students knew what their story was, but couldn’t express it in writing. One student had a beginning, then veered off into personal experiences unrelated to the topic. She needed a lot of guidance to come up with a plot.

This is what I do with each of these students:

We sit together at a table. He/she reads me their story. I rewrite it using simple sentences. I try to pare the story down to about six to eight sentences. If they have trouble reading their work (which may be a jumble of words lacking coherence)I ask them to tell me the story. With appropriate prompting I manage to get a story out, which I write down using their words.  I learned this method of teaching writing (the Language Experience Approach) back when I was doing coursework for my teaching credential. I have found it to be very effective – especially for students who are still developing English fluency.

On Monday my session with one of my students went like this:

Me: Who is the hero in your story?
Student: Sandy.
Me: Tell me about Sandy in a sentence.
Student: Sandy was a hero, was a brave hero.
Me: Sandy was a brave hero. I wrote the sentence down. What happened to Sandy?
Student: There was a monster and the mother was crying.
Me: The monster’s mother was crying?
Student: No. The monster took her kid away.
Me: Oh, so that was the problem in your story.  How about you make a sentence about the monster?
Student: A monster took a kid away.
I wrote down the sentence.
Me:  Where did the monster live?
Student: In a hill, in a cave.
Me: Now tell it to me in a sentence.
Student: The monster lived in a cave.
Me: So what have written so far? Let’s read it.
Sandy was a brave hero. A monster took a kid away. The monster lived in a cave.
Then what happened?
Student: Sandy went to the cave with a club.
I wrote down her sentence.
Me: Uh-huh? And?
Student: He saw the monster and killed it.
Me: Is that the end? What about the kid?
Student: Sandy took her back to the mother.
Me: Sandy took the kid back to her mother.(I wrote).

With a pleased smile the student took her story and final draft paper to her desk to copy the sentences that she had dictated and I had written.
A session like this takes me about ten minutes. Time management is an issue. Most of my students are finishing up their final drafts while I’m working with individual students. I usually have them moving on to some other assignment that they can work on independently.

To end, here is a sample of a story written by one of my past students.

Schulz, The Greek Hero

By Wesley

Schulz, the Greek hero, was an amazing swordsman. He could split an arrow blindfolded. The king called Schulz to the castle. “What do you need, father?”
“I will have a feast tonight. All our soldiers are coming home.”
“Yes, Father. I will tell the cooks to prepare for the feast.”
         “Wait.”
“Yes, Father?”
“Go practice with your sword.”
As Schulz was walking he heard a voice. “Who’s there?” he said in shock.
“It’s me, Poseidon.”
“I can only hear you.”
“I know.”
“I must warn you the feast will be shocking.”
“I must go now, but I have so much to ask you.”
“The time will come. You must be going now.” In shock Schulz walked away. While he was walking he thought about what he would say to his father. He heard something in the bushes.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s me, your father. Come on.” When Schulz walked in he saw many people. He asked one of the soldiers how it was.
“Amazing.”

Right after that the king was going to say something when the castle shook. Then Hades appeared in the middle of the room and said, “I will send the Titan in one week.”
As he was speaking, Schulz said, “I will leave tomorrow morning and I will bring back Medusa’s head and kill the Titan.” The next day Schulz set off. Six days later he came back and saw the Titan. A monster with a man’s body, the tail of a snake, the head of a lizard, and the arms of an octopus. Schulz ran and showed the head of Medusa. The Titan collapsed and smashed into the sea. The crowd cheered.

That night they had a feast. Then Schulz heard Poseidon. “Hello, I know something,” Poseideon said. “I am your father.”


Here’s another sample story. A handwritten copy of this story appears in my previous blog entry.

Hegestus and the Howling Werewolf

By Alexander

Long, long ago there was a boy named Hegestus. When he was very young two lions attacked him. He ran as fast as light across the room and onto the ceiling. With his incredible strength he pulled away a pillar that help up the ceiling, and smashed the lions with it.

One day, when he was grown up a messenger came to the kingdom where Hegestus lived. The messenger went to the king and said. “A terrible werewolf is attacking our town. We call him the howling werewolf, and he lives in the biggest tree in the deep, dark forest. Please help us!”

Hegestus overheard the messenger and jumped into the room. “I will destroy this werewolf who is eating the people of the town,” he said. He pulled out his sword and ran off to his chariot with the messenger. “Tell me the way to get to the town,” he said to the frightened messenger.
“Go right until I say stop. Then go straight forward.” Hegestus obeyed the messenger. Soon they were in the deep, dark forest. “You must continue your adventure without me. Go into the forest until you see a huge tree. That is where he lives.” And at that the messenger ran off as fast as he could.

Hegestus rode into the forest until he saw a tree as big as the palace he lived in. He stopped the chariot and got out of the cart. He saw sharp claws that glowed in the moonlight. He knew at once he was looking at the howling werewolf’s claws.

The werewolf jumped out of the tree onto Hegestus. Suddenly Poseidon, God of the Sea, and Apollo, God of the sun, appeared. Apollo gave him a sun disk and Poseidon gave him his trident and then they disappeared. Hegestus stabbed the werewolf with his sword. The werewolf howled and took a step back. Then Hegestus used Poseidon’s trident to make a giant wave appear that got the werewolf soaked. The werewolf jumped at Hegestus, scratching him with his claws. Hegestus used Apollo’s sun disk to blind the werewolf, then he stabbed it with his sword again. It fell back, dead.
The next day he went back to the kingdom.

Writing a Greek Myth

This week my third grade students produced their first writing piece that was the result of a directed assignment. As in past years, this task generated much enthusiasm. Of course, it took two weeks of priming to attain this. I mentioned in a previous blog post that children need to be exposed to high quality, high interest literature in order to develop their writing skills. We have been reading about the Greek Heroes from Greek Mythology these last couple of weeks. The kids have been completely captivated by the great adventures of Hercules and Perseus and Theseus. So, when I announced on Wednesday morning that they would be writing their own Greek myth they exploded with excitement.

Being a non-traditionalist in my approach to teaching writing, I do not start the year teaching kids how to write a paragraph, with topic sentence and supporting sentences. Yes, this is important and necessary to teach, and I will get to it very soon. But, I am a firm believer in capitalizing on creative writing in the teaching of basic writing skills. When there is a high level of motivation to write, students often seek out on their own the  skills necessary for stronger writing pieces. My writing lessons through the year consist of many creative writing assignments, intersperced with the teaching of paragraph structure and organization.

I began the assignment on Wednesday and on Friday the kids wrote out their final drafts.

My Goals:

1. I wanted my students to use their imagination and let out their creativity. The mechanics of writing – paragraphing, punctuation, etc., - were not important. I didn’t want their creativity hampered.
2. I want to develop in my students a love and enthusiasm for writing.
3. The story had to have a beginning, middle, and end.
4. A description of the central character

Day 1: Qualities of the Greek Heroes.

Think about the three heroes we’ve been reading about. Hercules, Perseus, Theseus. What qualities did they have that enabled them to accomplish what they did?

I then reread relevant paragraphs from a few of the stories. Because my students are third graders they needed to hear the descriptions again!

On chart paper, I listed their responses.

1. Strong and powerful
2. Fearless, brave, courageous.
3. Kind and good
4. Creative
5. They never gave up
6. Respectful
7. Smart, wise
8. Planned ahead
9. Enjoyed challenges
10. Believed in themselves – had self-confidence

Having this vocabulary displayed allows the kids to access vocabulary in their own writing.

Day 2: The kids began writing their story today. To ensure that their stories contained all the essential elements of a story, I needed to have a pattern available to them.

I started the lesson as follows:

Each of the stories about the Greek Heroes followed a pattern. A pattern is something that repeats itself. What was repeated in each of the stories? What did each of the stories have in common?

I listed their responses on a chart:

1. The main character was a hero who was brave and strong.
2. The problem always involved a monster
3. The hero went on a journey to find the monster
4. Along the journey the hero met other characters who helped him solve the problem.
5. Gods and goddesses appeared in most of the stories

Now, it’s time for you to start your story. First you will write a first draft. Have fun and don’t worry about spelling. I’ll help you fix your spelling when you are all done. Begin your story by describing your hero. I pointed to the chart we had created the day before with the descriptive vocabulary. Give your hero a name and use this chart to help you. After you have introduced your hero, the main character, write the rest of your story. You may use the pattern if you want, but you don’t have to.

Because I want kids to love writing I try to make the activity as stress free as possible. It was important to spend time discussing the pattern of the story. Many kids at this age haven’t written stories yet. For some kids it will all happen naturally. Others need concrete guidelines. 

Day 3 Some kids were done with their first drafts and others needed more time. Each student took a turn to show me their completed story. I helped them with spelling and punctuation. I made a point of being generous with my compliments. To be honest, it wasn’t hard. Their stories were really good.

What impressed me most was their use of voice. I hadn’t mentioned it, or taught it to them. They got it – just by being exposed to excellent stories. Most kids rose to the challenge of showing decent character descriptions and an imaginative plot.

About 7 or 8 students showed writing capability but pretty much copied the basic plot ideas from the stories we had read. I don’t have a problem with this. Not everyone is cut out to be a writer! As long as they can write coherent sentences and produce a beginning, middle, and end, there’s hope! Three students had quite a bit of difficulty creating coherent sentences. This isn’t unusual at all. At this age – 8 – some kids are developmentally behind their peers. Also, if a child’s first language isn’t English, writing can be a challenge. In my next blog I’ll let you know how I help the struggling writers. I’ll also discuss time management because that is a big issue too. 

Here are two stories from my students:

Week 2 - Journaling

Journal writing during the second week of school is the main forum for creative writing in my class. It’s important for kids to have the opportunity to write informally. When they write in their journals their entire focus is on the thoughts going through their minds on the topic. They shouldn’t let grammar rules and other writing conventions bog them down. The process should be enjoyable, not tedious. I want my students to get used to the idea of capturing their free flowing thoughts on paper.

I teach third grade and at this age the kids need a lot of guidance when it comes to writing. I put up a topic, and provide leading questions to spur their thinking.  During journal writing time I make it clear to my students that they are to be thinking and writing the entire time (usually about eight minutes).

This is the plan for the week coming up:

Tuesday: Describe what your Labor Day weekend was like. Tell about:

1. A place you went to;
2. An activity you did;
3. A meal you ate;
4. A person or people you saw

I discuss the topic and clarify that a place is anywhere outside their house. The grocery store, the park, the beach, downtown, the shopping mall, a relative’s house, the pool, the movies, etc., are all places. This quickly eliminates the but, I didn’t go anywhere excuse! An activity means reading, TV, movies, playing a game, shopping, etc.

A topic like this at the start of the school week is a great way to build a community spirit. Before I ask them to share their writing, I tell them about my weekend. They see me in more human terms and I get to know them better.

Wednesday: What are some of your favorite summer activities?

After eight minutes I ask for volunteers to share. As each student shares their favorite summer activity I write their idea on the board in a concise sentence that they articulate after creative prompting from me. I think this is a golden opportunity to model strong sentences.

When each new idea is presented I ask the student to vary the sentence by using appropriate verbs for the specific activity.

Eg. I like going to the pool on hot days.

I enjoy walking my dog in the park.

Lemonade is a way for me to cool down.

After taking about six ideas I ask the kids to choose two ideas to copy in their journals. I am a firm believer that in copying good writing, kids develop their own writing skills.

Thursday: Qualities of a Good Friend

Think about what you like in a friend. For each quality that you come up with write a sentence.

After 8 minutes students share their writing. Again I model sentences on the board, prompting them to vary each sentence.

Examples:

A good friend is someone you can trust.

I like a friend who cheers you up when you are sad.

A quality I like in a friend is kindness.

To conclude the session I ask the kids to choose two ideas from the board and copy them in their journals.

Friday: This Week

On Fridays I have the kids reflect on their week. I tell them to write in their journals about:

1. Something they learned at school;
2. Something they enjoyed – either at school or at home or wherever;
3. Something they didn’t enjoy.

A discussion after they write helps them realize just how much they learned, and is a wonderful way to bring closure to the week.